THE BAWANA CHAINSAW MASSACRE: Fight over "the elective"

The Bawana Chainsaw Massacre:

Who would have thought that a petty issue would lead to a deathly row. The Bawana Chainsaw massacre would go down as the bloodiest event to have taken place in the History of youthful India.

59 students died. None was left even in the state of being taken to the Hospital. They cried for help,only to shut down the cries of the other, forever. such was the degree gory in the Massacre that took place in the Grounds of DCE, the bloodiest ever fight amongst the students.

So how did it all start. There was this all nuts guy called Ravi Manoram. Something struck his head. Well usually something or the other keeps striking his head,like once a fan broke from the ceiling and hit on his head,he surviived though. The other time,he stuck his coffee mug on his head. The coffee mug made of china clay,broke,but later he realized when his mom came and asked for the coffee mug. the other time he broke his cell phone,thanks to himself,for he got a brand new Motorola v3i,thus emptying his dad's pocket by 10000/- . And numerous such events have taken in history but his head continues to burden his already over heavy shoulders.

but this time it was different with Ravi. This time an idea struck him,which of course rarely does. SO he goes on the net and posts on the class group.Yes the class group of 2K5-IT.After all he was an engineer.No wonder he was so blunt head.
So he posts on the class group that we should an elective this time and not let the teachers decide the elective.
Novel idea indeed,but everyone was afraid to reply,for they never thought that a genuinine idea could strike a blunt head. Though with his head,he had struck many a mouth and had broken many a teeth.
Thus for a few days noone posted. Then one sudden morning Sunny da,brave soul,who also happens to keep very short head,so he could understand the frequency of Ravi,and thus agreed with him. soon a string of replies followed with Vaibhav and Cheenu also followed. Thus the thread grew longer and longer. well everyone agreed that the blunt head had brought out a brilliant idea.
But as in all the good stories,there has to be someone,who worse than a blunt head would come out with an idea,that would put others to shame. It had to be JAtin Kataria,a fellow techie. So he wanted Pattern Recognition as an elective,thus disagreeing with Ravi Manoram over IT in Marketing Management. Wow everyone else thought," If we also shout the same elective,we will look intelligent and thoughtful." Secondly if they sout for PR,which was a highly impossible elective,they wouldn't have to bother with any elective choosing stuff and thus carry on whatever shit elective the college gives them. Thus started the journey of conspiracy. The college had decided to give Digital Signal Processing(DSP) as an elective. Well some students remained silent as to give their choice of elective as they were afraid to hurt the sentiments of the college authorities. DSP in short stands for Did u SHIT & Piss,. So such is the extent of uselessness of this grand subject. First it is tough. It is a crap. And no one understands a bit in it. yet a few girls and guys did vouch for DSP. Reason being simple. Its a tough subject so no one understands a bit. Thus everyone remains in the equal playing field.None gets to do well. So who finally does well in the subject. Those who attend the class with as much as 75% attendance,tose who mug up the class notes completely and those who are able to impress the teachers. Submit the assignments on time(though usually cheated from eachother and from seniors),and yes if have been doing the same crap stuff for the past semesters and so teacher will look at you favourably. Thus finally they do well in the exam. Are they judged on knowledge certainly not.

Well so finally we had three pillars of concentration: the PR gang headed by Jatin,the MM gang headed by Ravi and the DSP gang headed by Nitin. Thus started the war of words. Mothers,grand mothers,sisters,girlfriends none were spread. The fights reached its its height of obscenity. Even girls came along bringing in the fathers,grand fathers,brothers,boyfriends. Clearly the three gangs abused whom idn't matter. What mattered is that someone abused someone else. When they got tired of the inter gang they started within the gang.

Then suddenly Mohit came along with his words of wisdom. First he gave his views on Marketing Management. His view was that since he is giving CAT so why should he study MM. FIne,but the actual elective was IT in MM. So if this was a business subject,why the hell was it included in the Engg curriculum,this was the thought of the blunt head Ravi Manoram.So sometimes he thinks eh. So what do did others want. Robotics,PR DSP. Damn shit. Do they realize the utility of a subject like MM. No they wouldn't. They just wanted to make some noise. MM was a subject which had its usefulness in every field of life that one entred into. Leave alone Engineering. MAybe you liked a girl, and wanted to propose her. MM would certainly help u market yourself well and thus give a proper presentation to your proposal. But no. All they want is to study crap. Live in the Wisdom of shit.

So finally Ashish came along and gave the idea that we meet in the OAT of the DCE campus. Everyone agreed. But of course they were frightened. So each one thought lets protect themselves. Some came with kitchen knife, some with the nail cutter knife,but they came with something. Some had Rampuris with them. Some had the 420 churi used by pocket maars. Some had chains with them,some thought chains were good so they brought the dog chains with them. If that was not enough,some even brought spoon and fork. Thought knives would be dangerous. Some even had a pistol. Some were empty handed,thought Gandhianism was the best weapon. The blunt head Ravi came with khukri,a big knife he had since his Dajeeling days,a deadly weapon used by the gorkhas.You could chop off the head in one shot.

So they all gathered at the OAT. Well but before a word of friendliness could be uttered,someone abused someone else. It had to be the bad mouth Nitin,hurling something like "bakwaas band kar" at Ravi. Ravi,a blunt head,who never thinks twice took out his khukri and lo and behold,Nitin was in two pieces. Thus started the bloody war. A little confusion like"bakwaas band kar" which was taken as an abuse started the gory war. Soon everyone was out with his weapon. The girls were amazingly prepared too. Some head pepper spray mixed with chloroform,some came like CATwoman, with iron claws, for some their teeth was enough. While some other girls tought they just could wag their tounge nd kill people with their constant talking.
Soon hands were moving,kicks flying at the butts,some on faces, knives started to taste blood,they really looked hungry since ages. Some said "DSP hamara hai",some shouting for PR,some for Marketing Management. .... soon the OAT was bathed in blood. Some had torn stomachs,some broken teeth,some broken head,some who had their head seperated from their body,yet their heads shouting for their elective. Damn such was the spirit....but none stopped. Some were strangling the other to death,then some doing something else. Even the girls were not spread,first they fought amongst themselves,then with the boys. Sunny da was also not far behind. He had come with a chinese sword,thin sharp and swift,thus cutting his enemies into two. The people with the nail cutter knives were amazingl adept at it too. they managed to score some deathlyblows. The kitchen knoves walas, cut their enemies like vegetables. Spreading no one. The only thing they wished were a stove to fry them on. Such was the gory war. such was the massacre.
Ravi's khukri scored the most,having had killed many with single blows. When his khukri got tired he used his blunt head. They broke the opposite into pieces. So in one such situation,someone moved from the way and he banged with the wall. His head split into two. So with his right hand he held his split head together and with his left hand he continued to kill with his khukri.
The Gandhians were also not far behind. They had brought salt from the Dandi march and were throwing at their enemies eyes.Some even shoving it into the mouth,killing them of high blood pressure. Oh yes they had the Gandhiji wala danda. With that heavy stick they broke many a neck and heads.
Soon the war came to an end,and somehow or the other everyone was wriggling on the ground,they didn't even get water to drink. So they started to drink each others blood. Damn the pollution that is in our eating and drinking habits.As it is we all are cold drink addicts. So what happened when people started to drink each others blood.They started to die. Why? Because the blood had high concentration of pesticide,after all cold drink addicts.

Only Ravi was left till the last. His heavy body could absorb alot of pesticide. No wonder he advices all to eat alot. 58 of the students were lying there dead. Someone informed the principal. Even the Hod was informed. They came running. They saw Ravi,the only one alive. They rushed to him and asked what happened and why did everyone get involved in afight. What was the reason ? Whats all this?
Ravi could only say one thing: "Its the BAWANA CHAINSAW MASSACRE: The fight for the elective." and click a candle that blows off he died,for he lived only till the time to tell someone this. Everyone bowed to the dead. Noone spoke,no one questioned,for everyone understood,what this bloody fight was all about.


PS: The above is a work of fiction,and should not be assumed with the reality. the copyrights remain with the author,though you are free to distribute.