THE BAWANA CHAINSAW MASSACRE: Fight over "the elective"

The Bawana Chainsaw Massacre:

Who would have thought that a petty issue would lead to a deathly row. The Bawana Chainsaw massacre would go down as the bloodiest event to have taken place in the History of youthful India.

59 students died. None was left even in the state of being taken to the Hospital. They cried for help,only to shut down the cries of the other, forever. such was the degree gory in the Massacre that took place in the Grounds of DCE, the bloodiest ever fight amongst the students.

So how did it all start. There was this all nuts guy called Ravi Manoram. Something struck his head. Well usually something or the other keeps striking his head,like once a fan broke from the ceiling and hit on his head,he surviived though. The other time,he stuck his coffee mug on his head. The coffee mug made of china clay,broke,but later he realized when his mom came and asked for the coffee mug. the other time he broke his cell phone,thanks to himself,for he got a brand new Motorola v3i,thus emptying his dad's pocket by 10000/- . And numerous such events have taken in history but his head continues to burden his already over heavy shoulders.

but this time it was different with Ravi. This time an idea struck him,which of course rarely does. SO he goes on the net and posts on the class group.Yes the class group of 2K5-IT.After all he was an engineer.No wonder he was so blunt head.
So he posts on the class group that we should an elective this time and not let the teachers decide the elective.
Novel idea indeed,but everyone was afraid to reply,for they never thought that a genuinine idea could strike a blunt head. Though with his head,he had struck many a mouth and had broken many a teeth.
Thus for a few days noone posted. Then one sudden morning Sunny da,brave soul,who also happens to keep very short head,so he could understand the frequency of Ravi,and thus agreed with him. soon a string of replies followed with Vaibhav and Cheenu also followed. Thus the thread grew longer and longer. well everyone agreed that the blunt head had brought out a brilliant idea.
But as in all the good stories,there has to be someone,who worse than a blunt head would come out with an idea,that would put others to shame. It had to be JAtin Kataria,a fellow techie. So he wanted Pattern Recognition as an elective,thus disagreeing with Ravi Manoram over IT in Marketing Management. Wow everyone else thought," If we also shout the same elective,we will look intelligent and thoughtful." Secondly if they sout for PR,which was a highly impossible elective,they wouldn't have to bother with any elective choosing stuff and thus carry on whatever shit elective the college gives them. Thus started the journey of conspiracy. The college had decided to give Digital Signal Processing(DSP) as an elective. Well some students remained silent as to give their choice of elective as they were afraid to hurt the sentiments of the college authorities. DSP in short stands for Did u SHIT & Piss,. So such is the extent of uselessness of this grand subject. First it is tough. It is a crap. And no one understands a bit in it. yet a few girls and guys did vouch for DSP. Reason being simple. Its a tough subject so no one understands a bit. Thus everyone remains in the equal playing field.None gets to do well. So who finally does well in the subject. Those who attend the class with as much as 75% attendance,tose who mug up the class notes completely and those who are able to impress the teachers. Submit the assignments on time(though usually cheated from eachother and from seniors),and yes if have been doing the same crap stuff for the past semesters and so teacher will look at you favourably. Thus finally they do well in the exam. Are they judged on knowledge certainly not.

Well so finally we had three pillars of concentration: the PR gang headed by Jatin,the MM gang headed by Ravi and the DSP gang headed by Nitin. Thus started the war of words. Mothers,grand mothers,sisters,girlfriends none were spread. The fights reached its its height of obscenity. Even girls came along bringing in the fathers,grand fathers,brothers,boyfriends. Clearly the three gangs abused whom idn't matter. What mattered is that someone abused someone else. When they got tired of the inter gang they started within the gang.

Then suddenly Mohit came along with his words of wisdom. First he gave his views on Marketing Management. His view was that since he is giving CAT so why should he study MM. FIne,but the actual elective was IT in MM. So if this was a business subject,why the hell was it included in the Engg curriculum,this was the thought of the blunt head Ravi Manoram.So sometimes he thinks eh. So what do did others want. Robotics,PR DSP. Damn shit. Do they realize the utility of a subject like MM. No they wouldn't. They just wanted to make some noise. MM was a subject which had its usefulness in every field of life that one entred into. Leave alone Engineering. MAybe you liked a girl, and wanted to propose her. MM would certainly help u market yourself well and thus give a proper presentation to your proposal. But no. All they want is to study crap. Live in the Wisdom of shit.

So finally Ashish came along and gave the idea that we meet in the OAT of the DCE campus. Everyone agreed. But of course they were frightened. So each one thought lets protect themselves. Some came with kitchen knife, some with the nail cutter knife,but they came with something. Some had Rampuris with them. Some had the 420 churi used by pocket maars. Some had chains with them,some thought chains were good so they brought the dog chains with them. If that was not enough,some even brought spoon and fork. Thought knives would be dangerous. Some even had a pistol. Some were empty handed,thought Gandhianism was the best weapon. The blunt head Ravi came with khukri,a big knife he had since his Dajeeling days,a deadly weapon used by the gorkhas.You could chop off the head in one shot.

So they all gathered at the OAT. Well but before a word of friendliness could be uttered,someone abused someone else. It had to be the bad mouth Nitin,hurling something like "bakwaas band kar" at Ravi. Ravi,a blunt head,who never thinks twice took out his khukri and lo and behold,Nitin was in two pieces. Thus started the bloody war. A little confusion like"bakwaas band kar" which was taken as an abuse started the gory war. Soon everyone was out with his weapon. The girls were amazingly prepared too. Some head pepper spray mixed with chloroform,some came like CATwoman, with iron claws, for some their teeth was enough. While some other girls tought they just could wag their tounge nd kill people with their constant talking.
Soon hands were moving,kicks flying at the butts,some on faces, knives started to taste blood,they really looked hungry since ages. Some said "DSP hamara hai",some shouting for PR,some for Marketing Management. .... soon the OAT was bathed in blood. Some had torn stomachs,some broken teeth,some broken head,some who had their head seperated from their body,yet their heads shouting for their elective. Damn such was the spirit....but none stopped. Some were strangling the other to death,then some doing something else. Even the girls were not spread,first they fought amongst themselves,then with the boys. Sunny da was also not far behind. He had come with a chinese sword,thin sharp and swift,thus cutting his enemies into two. The people with the nail cutter knives were amazingl adept at it too. they managed to score some deathlyblows. The kitchen knoves walas, cut their enemies like vegetables. Spreading no one. The only thing they wished were a stove to fry them on. Such was the gory war. such was the massacre.
Ravi's khukri scored the most,having had killed many with single blows. When his khukri got tired he used his blunt head. They broke the opposite into pieces. So in one such situation,someone moved from the way and he banged with the wall. His head split into two. So with his right hand he held his split head together and with his left hand he continued to kill with his khukri.
The Gandhians were also not far behind. They had brought salt from the Dandi march and were throwing at their enemies eyes.Some even shoving it into the mouth,killing them of high blood pressure. Oh yes they had the Gandhiji wala danda. With that heavy stick they broke many a neck and heads.
Soon the war came to an end,and somehow or the other everyone was wriggling on the ground,they didn't even get water to drink. So they started to drink each others blood. Damn the pollution that is in our eating and drinking habits.As it is we all are cold drink addicts. So what happened when people started to drink each others blood.They started to die. Why? Because the blood had high concentration of pesticide,after all cold drink addicts.

Only Ravi was left till the last. His heavy body could absorb alot of pesticide. No wonder he advices all to eat alot. 58 of the students were lying there dead. Someone informed the principal. Even the Hod was informed. They came running. They saw Ravi,the only one alive. They rushed to him and asked what happened and why did everyone get involved in afight. What was the reason ? Whats all this?
Ravi could only say one thing: "Its the BAWANA CHAINSAW MASSACRE: The fight for the elective." and click a candle that blows off he died,for he lived only till the time to tell someone this. Everyone bowed to the dead. Noone spoke,no one questioned,for everyone understood,what this bloody fight was all about.


PS: The above is a work of fiction,and should not be assumed with the reality. the copyrights remain with the author,though you are free to distribute.

The ISB Experience :PART III

Well wait wait wait......
The story doesn't end here.....
During the evening of June 25th, we got a chance to have mone great masti.We got a free entry to Taj Krishna,The Taj hotel in Hyderabad.And what's more 25th was a Wednesday so that spells,a girl's night day....so at Ahala,the disc cum bar at the Taj,we all rocked for a while,had some good drinks(u can guess it,need I say more), and were back in the campus.

26th June was the day when all of us had to depart,though I had planned to be back on 27th,so I had a day extra. From 3 in the morning,people were streaming out of ISB slowly and gradually....

So what did I do alone, I went to the library,read a couple of guides on finance and stuff, and in the afternoon,I ventured out in the unknown of Hyderabad...something which I love to do..the benefit of venturing out alone are many.
First you don't have chatterboxes beside you who would actually eat your head and you are free to concentrate on the sight seeing and try and see new things in the already existing reminiscence of the great past....
Anyways so I went to the Charminar ,and boy the monument did look good. The surrounding was pathetic,rest was fine though. So I clicked some pics there,whatever angles I could judge to be the best. The best one was the the picture I took from the middle of the street. The divider was too thin to keep the traffic segregated. Yet I stood on it and went clicking click click click.
So after finishing with it,I went to the nearby Mecca Masjid. A Monumental place indeed,too bad a bomb blast had taken place her killing many. ... Yet the place looked magnificent.
Then it was time to move on. I went to Golconda Fort,the reason for the existence of the Hyderabad city. Here it was where Md. Tuli,kept the name of the Hyderabad city as Hyderabad city after the name of his wife....who first I don't remember had some Hindu name which she converted to Hydera,or something like that.......
I returned to the campus that day and the next day ie,the 27th of June I with bag and baggage,vacated ISB completely. I then went to the Nampalli station where I could get a bus to the Ramoji Film City. As usual,I arrived late. And all the buses had left by 10. So what were my options...reserve an auto or a taxi which would have cost me a bomb. While the bus trip(to and return) would have cost me a mere 150/- to reserve an ato meant shelling 400/- or a taxi 600/-... as if I was willing to shell so much. So I did some research,went and talked to a few locals in their style of broken Hindi with a South Indian touch, and they indeed helped me alot. ?They guieded me to Khotti Station form where I could get a local bus to Ramoji Film City for a mere 10/-...damn what a price,even cheaper thean the earlier option of reserving the bus. So took an auto went to the Khoti bus station,caught the bus and here I was at the Ramoji film city,.....

Ramoji Film City:
A magnificient place indeed.But the entry was 300/- but worth it. a 2000 acres(or hectares) I don't remember,spread amongst the beautiful plateau and a little jungle, Ramoji was indeed a place worth visiting.So from the entrance gate we sat on a bus that after a 15-20 min drive took us inside. And wow,what a plce magical indeed. I had never been to a Film City and indeed it was an great experience. We saw how the shooting is done,how sound mixing is done. A nice thrilling expereince in the Ramoji Tower. and then the sight seeing at the different sets. There was a polic station(shot in many movies), the Hospital(whereMunnabhai studied :-) )....the place where RGV's jungle was shot,duplicate Gateway of India,Taj Mahal, Mughal Garden,bus station, market...... to say the least it was an awesome experience......

So by the time I returned to the main city it was 7 and time tro return to Delhi......
Indeed a magnificient journey to Hyderabad,... it was fun as well as a learning experience.....I simpli loved these 4-5days there...